Rock -N- Republic’s

Tonight, as I was folding up my 2nd ever pair of Rock-n-Republic jeans, putting them away in the closet for another day, I was struck by how worn they are and how they are holding up.

I wondered, “Will these ones get holes in them like the other pair?”

Instant twang in my heart, ugh, oh, “the other pair”.

Europe, Guy & I, shreds of jeans after a year and 4 months.

I LOVED those jeans.  I bought those jeans at Marshall’s for $80, at Marshall’s!

Now you might be saying, wtf, is this a Marshall’s ad or something?

No, it is not.

My point is the mind, nostalgia, how a simple pair of denim sewed together to fit me so well can mean so much, can draw up so much energy, love, feelings, emotions, memories.

Ugh, those R-n-R jeans with the green stitching.  I wore those things to pieces, almost, literally!

And now I have a “new” pair of R-n-R’s.  They are more durable now.  I have probably worn them more than the other ones in almost 2 years with no holes, still fit great, still look great albeit a little worn out.

What is it about that: the perfect fit, the perfect size, the right shape?

They feel good on.  They are like a staple in my wardrobe diet.  I never want them to go away and I know, someday, I will have to let them go.  But will I EVER find another pair of jeans to fit me so well?

It’s like the clothing swap I went to tonight.  I brought a pair of standard washed jeans that I have had for YEARS!  I don’t really wear them anymore, yet I was hesitant to throw them in the pile of clothes for the taking.  I asked the jeans, “Where do you want to go?”  I heard, “Take me home.”  Then I heard, “The pile.”  I thought for an instant, “If I have the courage to let them go, I could be opening up space for something better to come in!”

I decided to act with courage.  I let them go, threw them over to the jeans pile.

About 10 minutes later, I heared my sister saying, “What do you think about these jeans?  I like them.”

I looked and to my surprise, and not surprise, she had on the jeans I had just dropped onto the pile moments before.  “I put them there!” I said.

She laughed.  “No wonders they fit so well!”

 

 

Being alone

On being alone.

What one feels, is.

If I believe it, I see it.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot get away from it.

“It” is me.

What does me want?

More of me.

How can I be a cure for my loneliness?

How can we be a cure for our loneliness?

 

Scarcity

I had a 10 million dollar nap today.  I took a million dollar walk the other day.  It was a Sunday and the most perfect Fall day here in the North East of America.  The sky was deep shades of purple grey.  You  know, that heavy Fall sky. It was breezy and like 68 degrees fahrenheit.  I took my time, followed my guidance every step of the way.  It was slow and enjoyable, no rush, I knew just where I was going.  I walked around a village worth MILLIONS of dollars and I am a part of it all!

There was a time where I saw everything as separate.  I used to get so frustrated at the restaurant I worked at when it appeared that other people were getting sat more than I was.  

I used to feel so frustrated.  

One night, I was practicing some internal techniques around viewing others as my “partners” in my life.  At the beginning of the night when I noticed a feeling of tension between the host and I, I silently said to myself, “You and I are great partners.  You are my partner.”  She did not even “know”, at least consciously, that I was saying this to myself, setting this intention, though I tell you, the energy between her and I shifted completely that night. 

I also remember later that night connecting with the energy of everyone in the restaurant: guests and staff.  I was practicing viewing us all as interconnected.  I saw light, white, translucent energy rays between us all like a big, giant crisscross pattern around the restaurant.  Then I saw all of us in this together.  This was no mistake that we were all there at that moment together.  I looked around at the other waiters and I noticed that everyone’s money wasn’t “their’s” it was all of ours, it was EVERYONE’S.  I thought, “The money that server is making in her section isn’t just for her, it is for all of us.”  I imagined all the money we were making that night was being put into this giant pool of abundance.  All the money went into it and all the money went out of it.  It was an infinite pool of abundance and we were all a part of it!  It belonged to everyone not just to the people who appeared to “have more” than others.   

After that night, something shifted in me.  I never felt as frustrated as I used to feel about an imbalance in the seating chart or “not having as much” as the others. I just chose to see it differently.  I anchored into a deep center of trust and you know what, I actually made great money in the following weeks.

Beautiful.  

 

What’s one perspective you are ready to shift?  

When are you willing to do it?

How will you know you are changing it?

 

I want to know.

 

Share below!

It’s all just energy

Isn’t life just energy?

I remember when I first started salsa dancing.  I used to talk about the “energy” that I’d feel with these different dancers.  My dear friends used to laugh at me and joked around with me for YEARS about my usage of the word “energy”.

What is possible when life is viewed as simply energy?

Neither right nor wrong.  Good nor bad.

Everything just is.

 

I guess that seems to make things pretty neutral, no charge, just weight: some heavier, some lighter, different colors, shapes, sizes.  All neutral.

 

I like that.

No fuss.

 

What’s possible from THIS perspective?

I know.
What about you?

I am right here

Hands up, arms stretched wide to the sky soaking in the sun on a hot, late August day.  Knee deep in small waves on Lake Erie.  The beach.  Ahhh…respite.

I held my arms up, wind blowing against my face, and practiced being inside my body.  Suddenly I had this realization, a solidifying of a concept that my Dad and sister had been communicating to me earlier this summer: Everything comes to me.

As I “saw” this happening in my minds eye, energy coming directly to me from all directions like golden sun rays, I realized, “All I have to do is be HERE and everything comes to me.”

Wow, this was powerful!  All I have to do is BE HERE and it all comes to me!  Hot damn, right on!

Later on that day, I had another realization.  The phrase “Knock, Knock, anybody home?” came to me.

I have to BE HERE in order to RECEIVE all that is here for me.

 

Words from a mug

“Relax Deeply, Dream Big, Believe with ALL your Heart” are the words on the tall cream colored coffee mug I bought at the dollar store last year after I returned from Cuba.  The Padrino communicated that the Spirits told him I could offer a cup of water in a high place to the Saints and Spirits if I wanted to.  I didn’t have to do anything he was suggesting, of course, just if I wanted to.

I wanted to.

So upon my return, I set out to find the right mug for this task.

I went into the dollar store, somewhere on the west side, and looked at their mugs.  I don’t believe I was actually there to buy a mug.  I was there to buy something else.  But, there I was, in front of a bunch of coffee mugs with inspirational messages.

The first one that stood out was a  mug with a deep red interior and a cream colored exterior.  The words on this mug were something like “Love, Joy, Peace” or “Love, Sing, Dance”.  When I saw it, I instantly perked up and thought, “Oh yes, this one!”

Then I looked over and I saw this other one, cream colored, with a mustard yellow interior like butternut squash soup.  Not exactly the most fun color in the world.  It actually reminded me of something else…I won’t talk about it here.  But, I decided to give it a chance.  I read the sayings on the surface of the mug:

“Relax Deeply

Dream Big

Believe with All your Heart”

Hmph, that’s different.

It didn’t quite resonate.  It was a stretch.  Those sayings were not my “go to” sayings in my positive moments.  Those were Love, Peace and Joy, you know?  Dancing, singing and laughing.

When I read this two toned cream and mustard colored mug I thought, “Yah, yah, this is the one.  I am going to try this out.”

“Relax Deeply

Dream Big

Believe with ALL your Heart”

 

Boy, have those words given me some solace this year.

 

How about you?  Do you stretch into the next way of being?  What does it feel like?  What is your “go to” place and what are you stretching in to?

Warmth of a friend

An old friend called me tonight.  It has been a while as time usually goes by: one, two or three months, sometimes more, before we talk again.

I forget about my good, old friends sometimes.  I get so wrapped up in my day to day life.  The other day I was watching Rick Steve’s with my parents.  He was in the South of France.  They showed the busy farmers market in Aix en Provence and there was a little, plump, old, French woman organizing her trays of fresh eggs.  I said to my parents, “Isn’t it amazing that someone like that exists right now in this world?!”  My dad looked perplexed.  “I forget sometimes that there are other things happening in the world and people like that little, old woman!”

When I saw my friends name pop up on my phone tonight I felt so excited.  Yes, she is calling me!

We spoke for a while and she told me some incredible stories about a recent adventure.  I noticed as we finished our conversation a warmth coming over my heart like glowing warmth around my heart.  That connection, that love.  How can I forget this?  It is like sweet, warm milk.  It is like honey, so sweet and tender, so real and for me and us, all for us to savor.  It is like the sweet breath of a loved one saying hello after a long, hard days work.  It is like so many precious things.  

I am so grateful that we got to talk tonight.  My world just got a lot bigger again.  Sometimes it gets so small when I get so into what I am doing, here, and that is all I can see.

When you step outside of your immediate surroundings what do you see, what do you feel and who do you think about contacting that you haven’t spoken to in a while?  

Keep moving on

Knowing when the time is to move on, change positions, resolve a conflict, talk to someone, is a gift.

I know that there are two situations this past year where I knew it was time to move on and I didn’t.  I stayed until it was OBVIOUS that is wasn’t working and it was time to move on.  In the  meantime, I experienced more than was needed AND it was needed because I wasn’t ready to move on until I experienced those things, I guess.

Are you following me?

I know in both situations, I felt scared to move on because of money.  But, what if I don’t have this job?  What if this doesn’t work out???

Ah, these fears can get me real mixed up about following and trusting my inner guidance at times.  It is a process.  To BELIEVE in it, the source of life.  To truly believe in life’s greater goodness for all!  IT is a growth process.  It is like stepping out into thin air and having a step magically appear so I don’t fall 2000 ft. below off that cliff.

It is like that.

And then, when I take that next step, leap of faith, it feels SO GOOD!

What am I scared of?

What are you scared of dear reader?

What is your next step to living your most amazingly awesome gold mine of a life in service to all?

Much Love, Sarah

Eye of the tiger

I don’t even know what that statement means: “Eye of the tiger”

Anyways, a keen eye, really looking for what is there.  THings can get so mushy and unclear, so muddled and funky.  What happens when a room full of unconscious people get together?  More consciousness, more clarity?  More of the same old funkiness?  More funkiness?  

I try to be a clear space, it gets muddled up sometimes.  I want to be spacious even in the worst, most challenging situations, where I am here, centered in my body, positioned right inside myself so I am powerful.  Hmmm, and a memory of Maui flashes across my mind: sitting at a little sea side tapas place that my ex-husband and I found and revisited several more times.  Evening, sun set, yellow on the horizon bouncing off of the darkening waves outside.  Air salty, sea breeze blowing in through the open windows.  Sitting at a high top on tall bar chairs looking at the menu, looking outside, smiling, enjoying. 

How can I be more spacious even when I am really triggered?  How can I notice more of what is needed, what is going on around me when there is a lot of “seeming” pressure to perform, to do something a certain way?

I remember Eckhart Tolle talking about: “You have three choices: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.

Ahhh, freedom, choice.  There is POWER in this!  

How can I choose this when things around me seem to be falling apart?  How is my reaction actually fueling the fire of the situation burning already?  How can I be neutral in the face of intense energy?  And WHAT could be beneficial about clarity on any or all of these things?

What do you think reader, how can you be peace in the face of chaos and destruction?  And what would be beneficial about this?

Peace be with us all, Sarah 

Grandma Julia’s Got My Back

I see a circle of my ancestors cheering me on.  They are saying, “Go, Go, Let Go,” with eager smiles on their faces full of excited anticipation and warmth.  They want this for me so much!  They are so happy for me.  We thank and give honor to each other.  I can’t believe it.  Opening, warm, golden light ball coming up from my throat.  I try to speak, it escapes, I thought I might cry, no tears, only opening, this opening in my throat.  Do you know what I mean?  It’s like a yawn, but not a yawn for sleeping, a yawn for opening, awakening.  Opening, awakening, healing, clearing.  A special yawn.

I awoke one night this year in the bedroom of my youth to a warm presence by the rocking chair of my other Great Grandmother Sithe (spelling ?).  I knew it was Grandma Julia.  She was there, just watching over me and making sure I knew she was with me.

Thank you Grandma Julia, I didn’t feel scared at all by your presence.  It was like a warmth glowing over there.  Safe, protecting, and love full.  Thank you Grandma Julia.

I find ALL my ancestors have my back.  They want this more for me than I do because they can see where I am heading, they know the riches, the warmth, the goodness.  They are SO PROUD of me and I am SO THANKFUL for them!

How do you honor those who have brought you to this very sacred place in your life?

How do your ancestors fuel your forward movement, motion?

And what do you think about those to come?  What do you want for them?