Archives for the month of: November, 2012

Last night, my twin sister helped me be brave.  She walked right over to a friend of ours, who is passing on from this life to the next, and sat next to him.  She put her hands on him and talked with him.  I didn’t feel so comfortable with this at first.  I noticed I felt scared and not sure of how to interact with him.  Seeing her behavior and her comfort in connecting with him in that way gave me the courage to do so as well.  I want to thank you Laura Aiisha for showing me how to be love and be compassion and be real in the face of transition.

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Today, as I sat in the bathroom, (why do I have lots of breakthroughs in the bathroom?  Do you too?) I remembered and deepened into an epiphany I had last week.  During a coaching call, one of the main instructors for the course I am completing, chimed in while listening to me coach a peer partner.  I had given her permission to give me developmental feedback as I was coaching.  When I heard the feedback, all sorts of things happened inside of me:

I felt a twinge of discomfort.  I felt anxious, wondering what she was going to suggest.  I shamed myself, “See, you are not good at this.”  I felt embarrassed that she felt the need to give me feedback.  Etc., etc.

Her feedback was very helpful and supported the coaching to go much deeper instantly.  For this I was grateful as I felt and saw the effects immediately with the peer partner.  She opened up a door for me and I walked through it.  The effects were tangible and I learned a lot.

Moments, days and now a week later, I am still wondering why I experienced her feedback to be “so harsh” or for me to be so reactive to it.

I remember last week, maybe the day after this experience, I wondered, “What if I just opened up to receive the love that was there in what she was saying to me?”

As I thought this, I did, I opened up to the love that was there and it was BIG.  I stood there breathlessly opening up to receive this, swaying a little bit, rocking side to side, and I became a space for that love.

Today, as I noticed there was still some residue from my reactions to her feedback, I again chose to receive the love that was there in her gesture.  I sat there and realized how much love there was in her feedback, in what she said, in her energy, much more than I had previously tapped into.  It was as if I was sensing into this fierce love, like, “I want  you to be FAR BETTER then you ever knew you could be” kind of love.  Like a Mama Bears kind of love, like a wave of love washing over everything to renew it, make it whole again, uplift it.  Like holding a really high standard kind of love.

I thought of the parking ticket I got last night in Toronto.  With still some feelings of frustration and anger lingering in me about that, I wondered, “What if that was just love too?”

I wonder about you, Dear reader.

What are some areas in your life where you can open up to receiving the love that is there for you?

How can this opening up to receive love drastically shift your perspective about and experience of this situation?

Share your thoughts below.  I look forward to hearing from you!

Last year, I went to Cuba.  During my stay, I met with a Spiritual Priest who gave me a reading.  He advised me on certain aspects of my life and gave me some very specific dating advice before the session was over.  Yes, I said “dating advice”.

I have been living on that advice for over a year now.

I pretty much have gauged my actions on it.

This advice was very crucial for me at the time it was given.  It gave me necessary guidelines for which to follow through on to make sure I was in alignment with one of my core values while dating and to also begin to receive what is out there for me in relationship with a significant other.

Now, I have realized that advice no longer holds true to how I want to show up in the dating world.

What about his advice am I taking so literally?

How is it serving me to take this so literally over a year later?

I realized this morning that the messages I received from him were appropriate for the time frame when they were given.  Now those very same messages are ready to evolve.

I was a baby then.  I am a grown woman now.

How can these messages evolve to suit me and others presently?

As I spoke to a friend this morning and came to this realization more crystal clearly, he told me a story of two Buddhist monks.  The younger monk was upset with the elder monk for telling him one thing and then the next week telling him the complete opposite.

The elder monk said to the younger monk, “It is because sometimes I say to you, ‘Go left,’ so you go left and then you go a little bit too far to the left so I say, ‘Go right,’ then you go a little too far to the right so I say, ‘Go left,’ again.”

I laughed and cried when I heard this.  It is so true.

I can see the Cuban Priest laughing now at how I have held true to the Spirits advice for so long!  He would laugh and probably tell me to do the exact opposite!

What messages, beliefs or guidance are you living from that you received a while ago?

How is this guidance still accurate in your life and how might it want to evolve?

when there is fear.

 

There is no fear

 

when there is love.

 

 

Wow, being around family is so special and also provides me with many great opportunities to practice, practice, practice the transformational work I am living.

I noticed several times today where I could have really gotten hooked on some energy around what someone was saying, how they were saying it, my own energy, my own agenda, or how I or someone else was being in the moment.  I want to say that I am happy to have noticed this and saw it for what it was.

The key here is in the noticing.
That is the very first step.

Then, with the noticing, comes curiosity.  I am able to get curious about what is going on and how I want to act, be or show up in a situation.  This is SO powerful, because it really gives me the freedom to choose.  Choose myself, choose my actions, choose my life.

How about you?  How do you remain free and clear around situations that tend to trigger you?

 

 

I lay on the hardwood floors of my friends apartment.  Propped up by yoga bolsters and atop woolen, grey blankets, I lay surrounded by a circle of wonderfully amazing women listening to the conversation.

I was feeling sleepy, tired.  It had been a long day, a lot of good stuff, and a full day at that.

I noticed my friends black cat walking around me.  He came over and looked me in the face and then made a move like he was going to walk onto me.  Sure enough, moments later he was pawing my belly with his back two feet still on the floor.  Then he made his whole way up, facing me, and he laid down long ways on my torso.

His body felt heavy and warm, soft and solid.

During the conversation, I began to chime in.  I noticed when I tired to speak louder or laugh loudly, the cat seemed disturbed and almost scared.  So I realized, if I wanted to maintain this very special feeling of this big, black cat laying on my torso, I had to be aware of how loud I was speaking.

When I thought about speaking again, something occurred to me:

This cat was helping me stay inside my body energetically.  Because I couldn’t use a loud voice to speak with the cat on my stomach, I had to speak from my center and not project so much.

 

I was reminded of a moment earlier in the day, as I finished a workshop, where I was speaking as if from the center of my body all the way up through my mouth.  It felt so good, the words so clear and open as if from the depth of my being.

 

I will try this more this week: speaking from my center and noticing when I am speaking loudly or projecting more than is needed.

 

What will you do dear reader?

 

 

Today I am practicing giving from a pure place within me.

I am practicing receiving graciously what is given to me.

I notice a fear come up about receiving: “I don’t want to receive EVERYTHING others give me!  What if I don’t want what they want to give me?”

Yes, this is true.  I have a choice.

I choose to receive from others, life and from myself.

What if, for one day, I just received everything that was given to me from a neutral place?

How about you?

What is it like to receive that which is given from a neutral place and give from a neutral place?

…and I was so happy.

There is something about saying Yes to life.  There is something about saying NO to things that don’t work.

There is something about saying No to one thing so a Yes thing can come in.

 

I noticed a month ago or so that I was sending blessings to people who I thought “needed” them.  When I noticed this, I thought, “Hmmm, at times, I am basing my desire to give blessings to who I think “needs” them.”  It seemed biased in some way.

I was somehow tied to an old story about what I thought a certain person needed based on what they looked like, how they dressed, how they walked or by the energy I was picking up from them when I passed by them in my car, for instance.

I want blessings to come from pure expression, that is all.  Pure love.

What about you?

What old stories are you tied into about what you think people need?

How can you rewrite those old stories and what’s good about doing that?

Wow, last night I experienced a shift in dance class.

I have been teaching the adult class more intentionally this session, beginning each class in a circle with self-connection exercises, breathing in and out consciously and setting intentions for how we’d like to feel walking out of the class.  We begin warming up our basic Salsa steps in the circle and then move into lines for learning purposes.  This is all in alignment with how I want to be facilitating all of the classes I teach: intentionally offering people a way to center and connect with themselves in a healthy way so they can connect with life and all others in a healthy way.

Last night, I experienced a shift during our warm up when we were practicing our “Cuban Slide Shine”.  One student started asking questions about a variation of the slide shine.  Demonstrating that variation, I then encouraged the students to practice whatever variation of the slide shine they wanted.  Experimenting too and having fun, I was moved by what took place next.

I looked behind me to see everyone concentrating on their steps, intent on getting the timing right while adding flare and style to express themselves.  It was incredible to be in a room full of adults who were completely engaged with themselves and having fun through the dance with a bunch of other adults doing the same thing.  There was no right or wrong, there just was the experience of it.

There was something so special about this moment.  I was one of them, no longer the “teacher” of the “student”.  A BIG smile spread across my face as I watched the transformation take place in front of my own eyes and felt an openness in my heart.

At the completion of the class, we circled up again.  The music was playing and I said, “Freestyle time!”  We all boogied down in the circle together moving in whatever way we wanted.  It felt so freeing, so fun, so playful, to see all of us adults dancing freely in a circle, expressing ourselves to our hearts content, together.  I called out “pose” when the song was about to end and we all struck a position, laughing, breathless, when it was over.

What is this about freedom and playfulness, fun and joy?

How does this get co-created in life, where people feel open enough to let go and be themselves?

How about you?

What do YOU need to let go and open to the flow of your own Soul and Spirit?

How will you dance your heart out?

What does it look, sound, taste, smell and feel like?

When will you start?